Nonetheless

I’ve been struggling. And I don’t know why but I keep doing this – I get to this point in which I think I’ve got it all figured out and that this certain thing is the answer. The answer to what? Well, depends on what I’m looking for in each cycle.

Really though, the “what” always stems from the same thing: me thinking that if I do this or that thing – then I’ll be alright. Me trying to save myself. When apart from Him, there is no Savior. This time it was about me making an idol out of something, the hope of a future job apart from kitchen lady extraordinaire. It was about finding something to keep me happy, keep me satisfied.

Today, at work nonetheless, my friend showed me the verse she’s learning; she made me read it out loud. Isaiah 55:11 says, “The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”

Satisfaction is what I need. I don’t need pleasure. I don’t need happiness. I need something that will satisfy me, keep me on an even keel. The word satisfy still draws my attention. It doesn’t say “meet your needs” – it says “satisfy your needs”.  Webster.com gives several definitions for satisfy. He doesn’t just show up and meet your needs – He fulfills them. In ways you can never imagine.

Only Jesus satisfies.

Only He will do.

New diet’s not the answer,

New drug will fail me, too.

Only Jesus satisfies

Cause only He knows what I need.

Only He can stop the hemorrhaging,

This emotional bleed.

Only Jesus satisfies.

Only He saves,

Cleansing the depths of my heart

Like a spiritual macrophage.

Only Jesus satisfies.

Only He sets free.

The price He paid unfathomable.

Nonetheless –

I believe.

(For now, enough. I’ll not try to straighten myself; God made me crooked!)