Tomorrow – our head cook (or “Mom” as I call her) will not be at work. I so depend on her to help me through the work day. I like to make her laugh, to tease and ‘worry’ her. She has a big family thing going on this weekend, leaving tomorrow for it. I hope it goes well.
Today would have been boring except that we were constantly moving. Having dish duty is the worst on big days like today. I was ready to give it up this afternoon and only came home to find more chores waiting on me. Guess this time in my life is about working and taking care of the fam. And I am blessed beyond measure to have this family of mine.
I think that I must go back to gratitude journaling. I did this once before when my heart had gotten so stubborn, so bent on being cold as ice. It helped me tremendously to keep things in perspective – to remember that yes, I am dust and that only by the grace of God was I even given life.
That’s one big thing that helped me before – to know that you know, I can sit and pine for heaven – ungrateful for this physical existence – or I can be thankful that I was born, given this physical life and presence, understanding that without it I wouldn’t even have the chance for eternal life or the chance to know God. (Unless God made me to be an angel.)
(I mean, in heaven are there other spirits – spirits besides those of former people and of angels? (Good question for a pastor… or for me to look into.) Is it God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit (the Trinity), angels, and us in heaven? Well, I mean, there God will be really, truly all-consuming – no room for more! And who else would be there?)
Okay, don’t know how I got to that question but certainly is less taxing than some brewing around inside of me. Hey, I don’t know why God made me this way; I am a thinker, a writer, an introverted emotional thing. But I am learning and don’t believe He’s brought me this far to leave me… I just can’t give up now. Come too far from where I started from. No one told me the road would be easy and I don’t believe You’ve brought me this far to leave me… (great gospel song; thank You, Jesus, for giving me these resonations within; total encouragement) DD